Reading Camp takes literacy to the world

Reading Camp takes literacy to the world

I'm very blessed to be a part of this ministry of the Episcopal Diocese of Lexington.

Dislocation

"Dislocation is the perfect context for free-flowing thought that lets us move beyond the restricted confines of a familiar social order.'

- bell hooks, Teaching Community: A Pedagogy of Hope

I've heard it said by people wiser than I that we see the work of God in our lives retroactively.  We can't always discern it when we're in the midst of some tumultuous phase or event, but we can discern it by looking back, peeling away the layers, and learning.

Summer was incredibly disorienting for me.  The non-stop schedule pulled from all my intellectual, emotional, and physical resources.  A tendency to do everything myself and inability to say no finally bit me in the butt.  I wallowed in self-created and self-perpetuated anxiety and misery, and while I could say to anyone who asked, "I'm creating all this anxiety and I know it's all in my head," I couldn't get myself out of it.  It was scary.  I've never before been in a place where I have so stubbornly ignored the wise council and genuine concern of friends and loved ones.

"You have to learn to say no."

"You need to give yourself time to process before you act."

"What's going on with you?  You don't seem yourself."

"We love you; we're just worried about you."

 "How's your physical health?  Are you taking care of yourself?"

"Are you taking time for yourself, away from work and dance?"

And there were many more questions and kind comments.  All from people who saw and shared what they saw: my life was out of balance, I was irritable, I was sleep-deprived, I was lacking endorphins from exercise I used to enjoy so much, former things that gave me so much joy were zapping the life out of me.  I was running on fumes and my hurt was starting to effect others.

I stumbled a lot.  Made a lot of mistakes.  Hurt friends.  Felt entirely ineffective, unproductive, and wasteful.  Wasted.  Sucked the life out of conversations, out of meetings that should have produced inspiration and ideas.

The "bottom" was a week of difficult and cathartic conversations.  It was a week when grace broke in and helped me forgive myself for my failures and missed opportunities, for poor stewardship of friendships, time, and self.

A week when I read Psalm 77:
¹I cry aloud to God, aloud to God, that he may hear me.
I had been doing that for a month.

²In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord; in the night my hand is stretched out without wearying; my soul refuses to be comforted.
I laughed aloud because that's exactly what I did.  Hindsight is 20/20 and we see the work of God in our lives retroactively.  If God is to be found in relationships, and I believe God is, then I had been in conversation with God constantly.  I had been sent beautiful moments and beautiful people who shared patience, and peace, and calm.  And my soul refused to be comforted.  It's pretty stubborn and misery loves company.

³I think of God, and I moan; I meditate, and my spirit faints. Selah
Yep.  I tried to meditate, half-assedly, and couldn't remain focused but didn't really try.  I tried to renew my "body practice" of exercise, and could not commit myself.  I moaned, then fainted.  And gave up.  Several times.
 
⁴You keep my eyelids from closing; I am so troubled that I cannot speak.
Yep, but I wouldn't blame God for keeping my eyelids from closing.  I'd blame a lack of self-control and the insidious seduction of social media.  I know better and I have more self-control than that.  But when you're intent on perpetuating your own melancholy, sleep deprivation is the way to go.  I could not speak because I could not think because I would not sleep.

⁵I consider the days of old, and remember the years of long ago.
Yep, because I was idealizing things that were past and relationships that no longer were, refusing to live fully into the present.  This has been a struggle throughout my life - refusing to live in the "eternal now."  When I reach these points, I usually reach for my Stephen Mitchell translation of the Tao Te Ching, because even though my understanding of the Tao is rudimentary, a continual returning and remembrance deepens my understanding.

⁶I commune with my heart in the night; I meditate and search my spirit:
Yep, many were the nights that I could not turn off my brain and cried on my pillow, searching my emotions and my soul to find the root of my melancholy, my "dark night of the soul."

⁷“Will the Lord spurn forever, and never again be favorable?
Ok, I never really thought this, but reading it this past week made me smile in a knowing way.  Knowing that I was just working through a type of spiritually adolescent rage and angst and while emotionally I might be raging against my spiritual Father, I knew intellectually that God was there, meeting me, and I was just stubborn.  I described it to a friend as "having my fingers in my ears and yelling, 'la la la la la.  I'm not listening!'"

⁸Has his steadfast love ceased forever? Are his promises at an end for all time?
No.  I was just being childish and not listening.
 
⁹Has God forgotten to be gracious? Has he in anger shut up his compassion?” Selah
Again, no.  I had forgotten to be gracious to myself, compassionate to myself and others.  I was angry and wouldn't forgive myself my anger nor allow myself to be lifted from its grasp.
 
¹⁰And I say, “It is my grief that the right hand of the Most High has changed.”
When I finally allowed it to, my grief started to subside.  I finally allowed it to transform...
 
¹¹I will call to mind the deeds of the Lord; I will remember your wonders of old.
Now I would call to mind those golden times when I had my head on straight and begin to live into them again.
 
¹²I will meditate on all your work, and muse on your mighty deeds.
Yep - because that's what God was offering - God's work and mighty deeds, all the time and through this whole ordeal.
 
¹³Your way, O God, is holy. What god is so great as our God?
Yep, the way is holy and it's present and now.   TBTG (Thanks be to God).

 
I had been living in a place of dislocation and disorientation, but know that this is part of my faith tradition and our religious narrative.  From passion and crucifixion come resurrection and new life.

From Exodus comes freedom.

Or maybe, more deeply, in death is life.  In Exodus is the Promised Land.

In dislocation is the context for free-flowing thought that allows us to move beyond the confines of the familiar and the painful.

Out of disorientation comes hope.  In dislocation is rootedness.

Amen.

Discretion, Part 2

The post-General Convention dis-excretio continues (click here for part one), and I have a lot of food to share:

Rev. Winnie Varghese, the Voting Secretary of the House of Deputies, presents a tour de force here.

The Rt. Rev. Dean Wolfe, Bishop of the Diocese of Kansas and the Vice President of the House of Bishops, responds to attacks on The Episcopal Church in the Wall Street Journal.

The Rev. Matthew Lawrence shares the hilariously-titled "Ross Douthat is a Fruitfly."

[Read Douthat's article here].

Diana Butler Bass responds to Douthat.  The question is not: Can liberal Christianity be saved?  The question is: Can liberal churches save Christianity?

Jon Meacham, Episcopalian and an Executive Editor at Random House, also responds to attacks on The Episcopal Church with a beautifully written non-apologetic apologia:

"the central tenet of Christianity as it has come down to us is that we are to reach out when our instinct is to pull inward; to give when we want to take; to love when we are inclined to hate; to include when are tempted to exclude"

I feel proud to be an Episcopalian when I see my fellow Episcopalians more concerned with our witness to the Gospel and our ministry of presence in this broken world than the number of butts we have in the pews on Sunday.

And Varghese is right: those who have left the church over battles of inclusion and the Gospel "are the ones that should go."

So what if we have fewer butts in the pews?  God willing, those who remain are ready to get their hands dirty healing this world.  

Discretion

Jad Abumrad of NPR's Radiolab tweeted yesterday:

"Just learned the word 'discretion' derives from the Latin 'dis-excretio,' which means the ability to 'discern between food and shit.'"

As we are now in the post-#GC77 days (post Episcopal Church General Convention), we are in a period of discerning between food and shit.

What feeds us and will equip us for ministry and proclaiming the Good News to the world?

What pulls us down and forces us to wallow in the muck?

How do we discern between the two and choose the right path?

The Wall Street Journal published a scathing editorial by Jay Akazie on July 12, entitled What Ails the Episcopalians.  Not only does it contain factual inaccuracies, it borders on defamation.  (I question the Wall Street Journal's editorial standards and why they saw it fit to run such an article.  Had something similar been written about the Union for Reform Judaism, the Anti-Defamation League would have been all over it).  It was quickly picked up by David Virtue of VirtueOnline, whose raison d'etre seems not to be to proclaim the Gospel in the name of "Orthodox Anglicanism," but instead to demonize, discredit, and defame The Episcopal Church.  When I tweeted that, "I take great issue with those who identify themselves by naming and demonizing the 'other,'" one of Virtue's minions responded: "Naming sin is part of the Gospel."

And on it goes.  I wonder if "naming sin" is what God asks us to do.  Somehow, I recall Matthew 7:5: "You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."

I realize this morning, however, after going to bed angry and hurt by all the trolls stomping about the Twittersphere and Blogosphere that I have not been using my best discretion.  Somehow, I thought that all this shit was food.  But it's not.  It's shit.

What is food?

A Tale of Two Church Legislatures is food.   Written by Methodist Taylor Burton-Edwards, who is married to The Rev. Dr. Grace Burton-Edwards, an Episcopal priest, this opinion piece gives a very different view of The General Convention.  Having experienced both the Methodist General Conference and the Episcopal General Convention, Mr. Burton-Edwards identifies the similarities and differences between the two denominations and the two legislative bodies.  

He writes,  

"I've written... that I came away from [Methodist] General Conference hopeful, and that I witnessed the Holy Spirit do many amazing things there. I stand by all of that. I am hopeful for us. The Spirit did many amazing things there. And... this all happened in the midst of what many of would describe as the most negative, contentious, even at times hateful General Conference any of us can remember. Often some of us watching the events there unfold were asking ourselves, 'Who are they going to go after next?'

By contrast, watching the TweetStream, occasionally the LiveStream, and, over the weekend, being present with folks and friends and family there-- my younger son was also on the floor as part of the Official Youth Presence-- the feeling of the General Convention was nothing like that of General Conference. The overall mood seemed generally serene, content, respectful, often fun, and actually hopeful through and through. There were no undercurrents of 'if we don't change everything right now, and in this particular way, we're doomed.' There were certainly disagreements about many things. But everyone was treated with dignity and respect, by everyone else.

And everywhere-- not just in committee or plenary sessions. One of the hotel staff told one of the delegates-- 'You are the first group of Christians I haven't had to get mad at. Come back, anytime!'"

And he continues.  I started to feel some hope welling up inside as I read his piece.

Wrong on Every Count is food.  Written by The Rt. Rev. Kirk Smith, Bishop of Arizona, this piece refutes false and defamatory claims made in the Wall Street Journal article.   One of the best points of his piece: 

"We Episcopalians can be hopeful about a church that has the self-awareness to take on its own restructuring, take prophetic positions on the world's urgent problems, include all people in its sacramental life, and proclaim to the Good News of Jesus in many new and creative ways.  And we do it all in a uniquely democratic manner, which is sometimes messy, but always Spirit-filled."

Mission and Redemption is food. Written by The Rt. Rev. Stacy Sauls, former bishop diocesan of Lexington and current Chief Operating Officer of The Episcopal Church, Mission and Redemption tells the hope-filled story of redeeming a building formerly inhabited by slave owners and transforming it into a mission center.  "Mission House," the office of the Diocese of Lexington, is now used for outreach, evangelism, and provides free meeting space to community groups working for justice and peace.  Having worked on staff at Mission House, I can say that we are merely human and make a whole host of mistakes and a hell of a lot of sin.  But we do our best - working prayerfully, intentionally, and always asking for God's guidance and blessing on our work.  

  

There's a lot more food out there.  And there's certainly a lot more shit.  So, we have to pray that God equips us with skill to discern between the two.  Dis-excretio.

The Letter of James is food.

James 1:19-27  

Hearing and Doing the Word

You must understand this, my beloved: let everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger; for your anger does not produce God’s righteousness. Therefore rid yourselves of all sordidness and rank growth of wickedness, and welcome with meekness the implanted word that has the power to save your souls.

But be doers of the word, and not merely hearers who deceive themselves. For if any are hearers of the word and not doers, they are like those who look at themselves in a mirror; for they look at themselves and, on going away, immediately forget what they were like. But those who look into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and persevere, being not hearers who forget but doers who act—they will be blessed in their doing.

If any think they are religious, and do not bridle their tongues but deceive their hearts, their religion is worthless. Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to care for orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.

Amen, James.  Amen.

The Prayers for Guidance and Quiet Confidence that reside near the end of the Book of Common Prayer are food.   

Direct us, O Lord, in all our doings with your gracious favor, and further us with your continual help; that in all our works begun, continued, and ended in you, we may glorify your holy Name, and finally, by your mercy, obtain everlasting life; through Jesus Christ our Lord.

O God of peace, who has taught us that in returning and rest we shall be saved, in quietness and confidence shall be our strength: By the might of your Spirit lift us, we pray, to your presence, where we may be still and know that you are God; through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Amen. 

Thanks be to God, I'm done with this shit. 

 

Out of the Box

Thank you, Integrity.  Watch this film.

Let the pews burn...

A sensational title for a blog post, but one I felt compelled to write nonetheless.

If your church burned to the ground, would "church" die for you and your community?  Or would you find new ways of being "church," new ways of worshipping, new ways of proclaiming God to the world?

If we dispensed with our traditional bicameral legislature, or with our top-heavy structural model, would The Episcopal Church cease to exist?  With God's help.  If TEC keeps looking inward and struggling to "survive," we will die.  And good riddance.  I am convinced that the world has no need of TEC as currently structured or functioning.  The world has need of Episcopalians to get out of their pews and serve the needs of the poor, the hungry, the orphan and the widow.

The Standing Commission on the Mission and Evangelism of The Episcopal Church has issued a wonderful multimedia report to the 77th General Convention, in the form of the written word and video.

Check these out:

Standing Commission on Mission and Evangelism
Equipped for Mission-SCME
Sent for Mission
Organize the Church for Mission

"Are you married?" "No, I am in covenant."

One of the most anticipated topics and resolutions of discussion at General Convention will be the work of the Standing Commission on Liturgy and Music, who have presented I Will Bless You, and You Will Be a Blessing: Resources for Blessing Same-Gender Relationships.*  This is a hefty report of some 96 pages, and I have yet to finish reading all the work.  However, to this point, I have several concerns and reservations with what I have read.

"I will bless you and you will be a blessing."  

The Abrahamic Covenant

These begin with the comments made by a member of one of the churches in the Diocese of Lexington who attended one of the several Town Meetings about General Convention that were hosted at various churches in the diocese.  He approached the microphone to share his thoughts about potential blessings of same-gender relationships.  I paraphrase:

"To me, it seems that there is as much sense in authorizing a separate rite for blessing of same-gender relationships as there is authorizing a rite for the ordination of women to the diaconate, priesthood, or episcopate.  Why not change the language in the marriage rite to make it available for same-gender couples?  Creating a separate and different rite is only institutionalizing discrimination and otherness."

His impassioned commentary has been with me as I've read this report from the Standing Commission on Liturgy and Music.

The report includes what I consider to be solid and significant work on the theology of covenant and covenantal relationships.  Indeed, I deeply felt the following to be true in reading the report: "Heterosexual people may also find their own vocations and ministries strengthened and empowered in those moments of blessing [of relationships]..." (The Blue Book, page 198)

Similarly, the work of this Standing Committee in this report was to present history, theology, exegesis, and more in effort to provide a thorough discourse on The Episcopal Church's encounter with the topic of safe-gender relationships.  However, the report was much more than that.  To this point in my reading, I have felt my own vocation to my covenantal relationship with my husband strengthened and blessed.  I wish that portions of this report had been available to us when we were going through pre-marital counseling.

The language and theology that I particularly wish we had had available to us for study and discussion was that of "covenantal relationship."  The Standing Committee describes covenantal relationship in a variety of ways, including:

• "love that is self-giving and other-receiving" (205)
• a relationship in which "painful aspects are exposed"(209) but can be healed and made whole
• a relationship that is set apart as "'a sign of Christ's love to this sinful and broken world, that unity may overcome estrangement, forgiveness heal guilt, and joy conquer despair'" (201)

And, the report recalls Resolution D039 from General Convention in 2000, where the characteristics the Church expects to see in lifelong, committed relationships include "fidelity, monogamy, mutual affection and respect, careful, honest communication, and the holy love which enables those in such relationships to see in each other the image of God." (202)

This covenantal relationship sounds pretty good, right?  It sounds like the type of relationship to which my husband and I aspire and toward which we continually work.  

But, there's a problem that I see in the work of the Standing Committee - and it's the problem the gentleman raised at the Town Hall meeting.  It is that same-gendered relationships are being discussed as covenantal relationships while not being called marriage.  And that our society places a higher premium on "marriage" and excludes same-gendered couples from this civil (and religious) union.

"While the Canons of the Episcopal Church describe marriage as a union of a man and a woman, the patterns of marriage can help us understand other kinds of covenantal relationship, such as vowed religious life and the commitments of same-gender couples." (206)

The authors of the report seem to be trying to level the proverbial playing field and remove a culturally-understood hierarchy of types of covenantal relationships.   They explain that, "Indeed, for the first half of its history, the Church understood vowed religious life as a calling higher than marriage, a view that changed decisively only during the Protestant Reformation (206)." That is no longer the case, and "in all of these covenantal relationships [marriage, same-gender committed relationships, vowed religious life], the partners promise to be trustworthy, to remain faithful to one another despite other demands on their time and energy of possibilities of engagement with others (206)."  

However, the culture still disallows same-gender couples to be in unions with all the rights and privileges afforded to different-gender couples on discriminatory grounds.  The culture says that same-gender relationships are lesser, and not worthy of the same rights and privileges given to married different-gender couples.  "Marriage," the civil union that allows for a plethora of rights to couples, is forbidden to same-gender couples.  No matter what The Episcopal Church does to uplift and bless covenantal relationships of same-gender couples, the simple fact is this: same-gender couples are denied "marriage" in civil society and thereby are denied rights and benefits.  It is a human rights and social justice issue.

So, while I appreciate the theology of covenantal relationships presented in this report, especially in the sense that it allowed me time for reflection and prayer about my marriage, the report neglects to address the human rights and social justice issues surrounding same-gender relationships in our society.  The dominant culture doesn't care if same-gender couples are in "covenantal relationship" when it comes down to end-of-life visitation rights.  They're not married, and they are denied these rights.

Clergy bless the unions of nine same-gendered couples in the Diocese of Southeast Florida 

The report distinguishes between "married different-gender couples and covenanted same-gender couples (208)."  Why the different terms?  If a covenantal relationship between two people is a relationship in the image of the Triune, inherently relational God of Christian faith, if it is a relationship in the image of God's relationship with the Church, the shouldn't we dispense with the terms "marriage" and "matrimony" altogether?  Are not they inappropriate or inaccurate, and filled with histories of exploitation, economic arrangements, patriarchy, and on and on?  

Isn't covenantal relationship what we should be blessing, and not marriage - for any couple - same-gendered or different-gendered?  

All I know is that covenantal relationship as defined by this Report is what I aspire to in my relationship with my husband.  I don't know that marriage, with all its baggage, is the most accurate to describe the type of relationship that we wish to have.

So, when people ask me, "Are you married?" 

I believe I'll respond, "No, I am in covenant." 

*This portion of the report is intended for consideration of the 77th General Convention and for study in preparation for Convention.  None of the material in the document is authorized for use in TEC.

Chorizo and Theology

"We cannot avoid the conclusion that our irresponsible industrial production and consumption-driven economy lie at the heart of the current environmental crisis."

"Privileged Christians in our present global context need to move from a culture of consumerism to a culture of conservation and sharing."


"The challenge is to examine one's own participation in ecologically destructive habits."
- from A Pastoral Teaching on the Environment, The Episcopal Church House of Bishops Theology Committee

I don't want to think about barbecue chicken pizza and pork chops as moral issues, but they are.

What I put in my mouth is a statement about who I am and what I believe.

Yesterday, I approached a vendor at my local Farmer's Market whose posters advertised, "Local pork."  I selected zesty Italian sausage and chorizo, made the purchase, and was about to turn to leave when I decided to ask a question that the documentary "Food, Inc." had convinced me to ask.  

"I have a question, if you have a minute."

"Sure," the young farmer said, taking a seat on the stool behind the cash box.

"So, I saw a documentary," I said, feeling my cheeks flush, "and I wanted to ask you how you raise and care for your pigs.  Because the documentary had all this information about how horrible the industrial food system is, and it made me very concerned about where my meat comes from."

"Well, my pigs only see one bad day," he said.  "Only one bad day.  And it's their last day."

I smiled.

"My pigs are not kept indoors; they never see concrete or asphalt unless they escape.  They roam freely outdoors.  I bring the mothers inside when they are about to give birth, but still, they are given a large pen where they can move freely, unconstrained.  They never see a cage."

"That makes me feel so much better," I said.  "I used to buy vegetables at the market, and conventional meat from the grocery, but I don't think I'll ever buy conventional meat again."

"You know how they started calling pork 'the other white meat?'" he asked.  "The meat became white because industrial farming doesn't allow the pigs to move.  They stand still all day, building up fat and bulk with hormones and antibiotics, and they don't develop muscle.  When you cook up one of my pork chops, you'll see it's not white.  It's not red like red meat, but it's not white - because my meat is not all fat.  My pigs build muscle."

"That chorizo you bought there," he said, "if you cook that up in a pan and try to drain the excess fat, nothing will drain.  There's no excess fat there.  It's good, lean meat."

And he was right.  I cooked up the chorizo - two links on the grill and some bulk chorizo in the frying pan - and there was no fat to drain.  No neon orange grease to soak up on a mound of paper towels.

Just good, farm-fresh, lean meat.  

 

"Our current environmental challenges call us to ongoing forms of repentance: we must turn ourselves around, and come to think, feel, and act in new ways.  Ancient wisdom and spiritual disciplines from our faith offer deep resources to help address this environmental crisis.  Time-honored practices of fasting, Sabbath-keeping, and Christ-centered mindfulness bear particular promise for our time."

My deepest hope is that this newest endeavor to act in new ways, and purchase my food locally and mindfully, will continue.

In my role as a deputy to General Convention, I take time to read hundreds of pages of reports issued by various bodies in The Episcopal Church.  While I am so very proud that our House of Bishops issued a pastoral report on the environment, I am so very disappointed that the issues raised by the report are not a topic of normal discussion in our parishes and missions.  

Where are the sermons that make a connection between the commandment to keep the Sabbath and the industrial food system?  Where are the sermons that draw the connection between obesity, corn subsidies, and poverty in developing countries?

Where are everyday Episcopalians in this dialogue?